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Will Smith shares his secrets of success

11 Goal Hacks: How to Achieve Anything

Goal-setting research on fantasizing, visualization, goal commitment, procrastination, the dark side of goal-setting and more...

We're all familiar with the nuts and bolts of goal-setting. We should set specific, challenging goals, use rewards, record progress and make public commitments (if you're not familiar with these then check out this article on how to reach life goals).
So how come we still fail?
This psychological research suggests why and what mindsets should help us reach our goals.

1. Stop fantasizing

The biggest enemy of any goal is excessive positive fantasizing. Research on fantasising in goal-setting shows that positive fantasies are associated with failure to get a job, find a partner, pass an exam or get through surgery. Those whose fantasies were more negative did better. Don't experience the future positively before you achieve it.

2. Start committing

The reason we don't achieve our goals is lack of commitment.
One powerful psychological technique to increase commitment is mental contrasting. This involves entertaining a positive fantasy but then pouring a bucket of cold reality over it (follow this link for the details). It's hard, but research shows people really respond to it.

3. Start starting

You can use the Zeigarnik effect to drag you on towards your goal. A Russian psychologist, Bluma Zeigarnik, noticed that waiters seemed only to remember orders which were in the process of being served. When completed, the orders evaporated from their memory.
What the Zeigarnik effect teaches is that one weapon for beating procrastination is starting somewhere...anywhere. Just taking that first step could be the difference between failure and success. Once you've started, the goal will get lodged in your mind.

4. Visualize process NOT outcome

We're all susceptible to the planning fallacy: that's thinking all will go smoothly when it won't (and hardly ever does). Visualizing the process of reaching your goal, helps focus attention on the steps you need to take. It also helps reduce anxiety.

5. Avoid the what-the-hell effect

When we miss our target, we can fall foul of the what-the-hell-effect. It's best known to dieters who go over their daily calorie limit. Reasoning the target is now gone, they think 'what-the-hell', and start eating too much of all the wrong food.
Goals that are vulnerable to the what-the-hell-effect are generally short-term and inhibitional (when you're trying to stop doing something). The effect can be avoided by setting goals that are long-term and acquisitional. Find out more about the what-the-hell effect.

6. Sidestep procrastination

When goals are difficult and we wonder whether it's really worth it, procrastination can creep up on us. Under these circumstances the key is to forget about the goal and bury yourself in the details. Keep your head down and use self-imposed deadlines (read more on how to avoid procrastination).

7. Shifting focus

You can't keep your head down all the way or you'll get lost. In the long-term, the key to reaching a goal is switching between a focus on the ultimate goal and the task you are currently completing. Research suggests, when evaluating progress, especially on difficult tasks, it's best to stay task-focused. But when tasks are easy or the end is in site, it's better to focus on the ultimate goal (read more on how to shift focus).

8. Reject robotic behavior

Often our behavior is robotic. We do things not because we've really thought about it, but because it's a habit or we're unconsciously copying other people (e.g. Bargh et al., 2001). This type of behaviour can be an enemy of goal striving. Ask yourself whether what you are doing is really getting you closer to your goal.

9. Forget the goal, what's the aim?

Goals should always be set in the service of our overall aims. But there's a dark side to goal setting. When goals are too specific, it's easy to get stuck; when they are too many goals, unimportant, easy ones get prioritized over vital, difficult ones; when they are too short-term, they encourage short-term thinking. Badly set goals reduce motivation and may increase unethical behavior.
Remember to keep in mind the whole point of the goal in the first place.

10. Know when to stop

Sometimes the problem isn't getting started, it's knowing when to stop. Psychologists have found that sunk costs make us do weird things (Arkes & Blumer, 1985). 'Sunk costs' refer to the effort or money we've already expended in trying to reach our goal. So, even when our plan is failing, we keep pushing on.
Research shows that the more people invest in a goal, the more they think it will succeed; irrespective of whether it actually will succeed. Know when to change tack or you'll end up flogging a dead horse.

11. If-then plans

What all these studies show is the importance of self-regulation in achieving a goal. Unfortunately, as we all know to our cost, controlling the self can be very hard.
One strategy with plenty of research to back it up is forming 'if-then' plans (Gollwitzer et al., 2006). You simply work out in advance what you're going to do in a particular situation. Although it sounds simple, we often prefer to wing it, rather than plan. With a little ingenuity, though, if-then plans can be used to surmount the obstacles described above.

 http://www.spring.org.uk/2011/03/11-goal-hacks-how-to-achieve-anything.php

33 Ways to stay creative

You are uniquely made and divine

You cannot win if you don't even start

My bucket list LIFE LIST as I call it

1.     Attend a major religious service for at least four different religions

2.     Attend a Native American Sweat Lodge Ceremony

3.     Attend black-tie gala

4.     Avoid all fast food for minimum 1 year

5.     Bake a birthday cake for a special someone.

6.     Be a Film Extra

7.     Be complaint-free for a period of 30 days. Join the movement started by Rev Will Bowen. Already, more than 6 million purple Complaint Free bracelets have been sent to people in over 106 countries. Check out this website http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/

8.     Build a personal website

9.     Complete a Walk/Run event for a Cancer Foundation

10.  Create a meditation room

11.  Create your Family Tree.

12.  Death Valley, California

13.  Discover my life's purpose.

14.  Do an Aging Time Lapse (Photo Everyday for a Year+)

15.  Do some sort of exercise for 20 minutes, every day, for a year.

16.  Eat in a 5-diamond restaurant

17.  Eat sushi in Japan

18.  Experience zero gravity

19.  Finish a 365 Photography Project and make a Coffee Table book out of the photos

20.  Get a henna tattoo.

21.  Get out of debt.

22.  Give a second chance to three foods I don’t currently like

23.    Go for at least one month without internet

24.  Go glamping (camping with glamour)

25.  Go on a road trip.

26.  Go on that honeymoon that keeps getting postponed.

27.  Go to a masquerade.

28.  Go vegan

29.  Have a library in my house

30.  Keep a savings account, with a balance, for one year

31.  Learn   Japanese

32.  Learn conversational Spanish.

33.  Learn fluent ASL.

34.  Learn to play an instrument

35.  Learn to sew.

36.  Learn to swim

37.  Make my goal weight

38.  Meditate for 20 minutes a day, every day for a year.

39.   Meditate in a Buddhist temple

40.  Meet Oprah Winfrey

41.  Mentor the younger.  Encourage the older.

42.  Paint - watercolors, oil, acrylics.

43.  Participating at Burning Man

44.  Prioritize my relationship with God.

45.  Publish a book of poetry.

46.  Publish a Novel

47.  Read  100 books (making list)

48.  Read the complete works of Shakespeare.

49.  Renew my vows barefoot in the sand

50.  Revamp my wardrobe.

51.  See a Cirque de Soleil show

52.  See the Dali Lama speak.

53.  Sell your original artwork.

54.  Send a message in a bottle

55.  Spend a week at a 5-star spa

56.  Spend the night in a storied/historic hotel.

57.  Squash grapes with my feet

58.  Start a charity.

59.  Start a non-profit organization

60.  Start a scholarship.

61.  Take a classy boudoir photo

62.  Take a kick-boxing class

63.  Take a meditation class

64.  Take Bellydancing

65.  Take photo of Sunrise over  water

66.  Take photo Sunset at a beach

67.  Take three cooking classes.

68.  Taste 1,000 fruits

69.  Tasting exotic cuisines from all over the world is another amazing bucket list idea for life.

70.  The Grand Canyon, Arizona

71.  TRAVEL Family vacation, just him and I vacation and a just me vacation EVERY YEAR

72.  Turn up at an airport, book a flight and go somewhere random

73.  Visit (Museum) J. Paul Getty Center, Los Angeles

74.  Visit the San Diego Zoo

75.  Watch no television for one week

76.  Write ten handwritten letters to friends and family

77.  Write, illustrate, and publish a children’s book

Voni Blue

101 Simple Truths We Often Forget

101 Simple Truths We Often Forget

It‘s not where we stand but in what direction we are moving.

Sometimes we find ourselves running in place, struggling to get ahead simply because we forget to address some of the simple truths that govern our potential to make progress.  So here’s a quick reminder:

1. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing.  Growing happens when what you know changes how you live.
2. You can’t have good ideas unless you’re willing to generate a lot of bad ones.
3. A good idea without action is worth nothing.
4. Change is often resisted when it is needed the most.
5. Discipline is choosing what you want most over what you want right now.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
6. People seldom do things to the best of their ability.  They do things to the best of their willingness.
7. You can’t change other people; you can only offer guidance, and lead by example.
8. Right now, there’s a lot you don’t know.  And if you never challenge your own beliefs, the list will never shrink.
9. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about the topic of conversation than you do.
10. The most common and harmful addiction in the world is the draw of comfort.
11. Growth begins at the end of your comfort zone.  Stepping outside of your comfort zone will put things into perspective from an angle you can’t grasp now.
12. When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.
13. It’s usually only as good or bad as you think it is.  Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.
14. Most of the bad things you worry about will never happen.  Most of the bad things that do happen will have never crossed your worried mind.
15. Some circumstances are uncontrollable, but we can always decide how we react to those circumstances.
16. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.
17. Whenever somebody discredits you, and tells you that you can’t do something, keep in mind that they are speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations.
18. Every problem you have in your life right now is your responsibility, regardless of who initially caused it.
19. It’s not so much about finding opportunities as it is about creating them.
20. Having a plan, even a flawed one at first, is better than no plan at all.
21. Paving your own road is intelligent only if nobody has gone exactly where you are going.
22. What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.
23. What you don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.
24. If you’re waiting for the perfect conditions, ideas or plans to get started, you’ll never achieve anything.
25. Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.
26. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
27. You cannot change what you refuse to confront.
28. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
29. The harder you work, the luckier you will become.
30. Kindness and hard work together will always carry you farther than intelligence.
31. Lots of successful people have failed as many times as they have succeeded.
32. Failures are simply lessons that help you prepare for next time.
33. Being successful is a journey, not a destination.
34. To be successful does not mean you have to dominate others; it means you have to dominate your own potential.
35. Your success isn’t just about you.  It’s about how you positively impact the lives around you.
36. Being busy and being productive are two different things.
37. Being happy and being successful are two different things.
38. You have every right to be happy, but it’s up to YOU and only YOU to exercise that right.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
39. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.  We all have different strengths.  What worked for someone else might not work for you.
40. When you’re worried about what others think of you, you’re really just worried about what you think of yourself.
41. The bad news: nothing is permanent.  The good news: nothing is permanent.
42. You don’t have to settle.  It’s simply a choice you make every day.  If you don’t like your life, then it’s time to start making changes and better choices.
43. There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’  Everything you do or don’t do has an inherent risk.
44. No matter how smart you are, you will make mistakes.
45. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful and hurtful as the process of fearing them.
46. Confusion isn’t a bad thing.  It means you’re growing and thinking.
47. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
48. In the beginning, you need to say “yes” to a lot of things to discover and establish your goals.  Later on, you need to say “no” to a lot of things and concentrate on your goals.
49. Even if it doesn’t cost any money, it’s not free if it takes up your time.
50. No matter how you make a living or who you think you work for, you only work for one person, yourself.  The big question is:  What are you selling, and to whom?
51. Money makes life easier only when it’s yours free and clear.  The stress of financial debt can change a person.
52. The fewer possessions you own, the more you will use and enjoy them.
53. Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.
54. There is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and who you will give your day to:  Because unlike other things in life - love, money, respect, good health, hope, opportunities, and many more - time is the one thing you can never get back once it’s gone.
55. Cutting your losses is often better than the alternative.
56. We sometimes do things that are permanently foolish just because we are temporarily upset.
57. Screaming at people always makes things worse.
58. Everyone likes a person who gets straight to the point.
59. First impressions are oftentimes inaccurate judgments of a person’s true character.
60. When you’re up, your friends know who you are.  When you’re down, you know who your friends are.
61. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.
62. When someone truly loves you, they don’t ever have to say a word.  You will be able to tell simply by the way they treat you over the long-term.
63. We rarely lose friends, we usually just figure out who our real ones are.
64. Just because one person doesn’t seem to care for you, doesn’t mean you should forget about everyone else who does.
65. Family isn’t always blood.  They’re the people in your life who want you in theirs – the ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what.
66. Good looks attracts the eyes.  Personality attracts the heart.
67. In human relationships, distance is not measured in miles but in affection.  Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart.
68. Being nice to someone you dislike doesn’t mean you’re fake.  It means you’re mature enough to control your emotions.
69. If you aren’t happy being single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.  You have to create your own life first before you can share it with someone else.
70. Whenever you hate someone or something, you are giving that person or thing a piece of your heart.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
71. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
72. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.
73. Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities.
74. When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
75. You can raise the bar or you can wait for others to raise it.  Either way, it’s getting raised.
76. In life you get what you put in.  If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you want money, provide value.  It really is this simple.
77. Cynicism might seem warranted at times, but it’s never useful.
78. Everyone dies, some sooner than later, and often unexpectedly.  To know this means you are alive, with a chance to make the time you have left count.
79. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself.  You are competing to be the best you can be.
80. Trying to be somebody you’re not is a sure path to self-hate, and a waste of the person you are.
81. It’s better to be disliked for who you are than to be liked for who you are not.
82. Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go.
83. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
84. You can’t make the same exact mistake twice. The second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a choice.
85. Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
86. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.
87. Many of the greatest lessons we learn in life we don’t seek on purpose.
88. You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.
89. A harsh fact of life:  Bad things do happen to good people.
90. Regardless of the situation, the sun rises the next day and life goes on.
91. You never know how strong you really are until being strong is the only choice you have.
92. We end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
93. We meet no ordinary people in our lives.  If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer.
94. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
95. People are not as beautiful as they look, as they walk, or as they talk.  They are only as beautiful as they love, as they care, and as they share.
96. Silence is often the loudest cry.  So pay attention to those you care about.
97. Making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.
98. Blowing out another’s candle will not make yours shine brighter.
99. No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
100. Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
101. Life is short.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

 Post written by Marc

10 Things to Remind Yourself on a Daily Basis

By Madison Sonnier

Bad days can be extremely overpowering sometimes. When we're having a bad day, everything feels wrong and the day seems to get even worse as we sink further into frustration and despair. By the end of the day, all we want to do is pull the covers up over our heads and block it all out.  

When I clawed my way out of a depressive phase last year, it was a daily challenge to keep myself from falling back into that phase again. I had to go through a process of re-building my self-esteem and re-evaluating my life. But there were days when I was not very successful with these things and the negative thoughts that stayed with me for so long would interfere again. 

 

It sort of felt like climbing up and over a steep hill and every time I let a negative or discouraging thought sink in, my foot would slip and I would roll all the way back down to the bottom of the hill and have to start all over again.   

On the bad days, I would feel like it would never end and that I would always be unhappy.  

To achieve mental balance, I have to make a habit of reminding myself of a few important things that I think we all tend to forget when there is a black cloud looming over our heads.  

1. Do not lose sight of what truly matters. Does that clogged sink signify the end of the world? Are you going to remember or even care that the stranger you smiled at in the coffee shop didn’t smile back? When we’re having a bad day, we seem to zoom in on petty things and complain about them. Next time you’re pulling your hair out over something, ask yourself if it really matters. 

 

2. It is okay to be alone or pull back from the world. Sometimes we just need to step back and re-evaluate a situation, a relationship, or just life in general. When I went through my healing period, I spent a lot of time alone as I tried to become my own best friend again. If you need to go into hiding for awhile and work on stitching yourself back up, take the time to do that. It is so important to pull back and spend quality time with yourself every now and then.

 

3. You are not always in control. You cannot predict when certain things will or should happen, or how everything will turn out. Sometimes you just have to stop pushing and let go.

 

4. What other people think is irrelevant. I was a miserable slave to the opinions of others. It got to a point where I was trying so hard to please everyone but myself. Don’t let your immediate reaction to criticism be to change whatever it is you’re being criticized for. Do whatever feels right to you, regardless of what other people have to say about it.

 

5. Don’t give up. If you’re fighting for something that means a lot to you, do not stop fighting whenever you happen to fall short. Remember why you are fighting for it.

 

6. You don’t have to know all the answers. No one ever has life all figured out. We are always learning and growing. Life itself is a mystery and it’s okay to feel clueless sometimes.

 

7. You are enough. All of us have had times in our lives where we have thought, “I’m not smart enough or pretty enough or strong enough or exciting enough to do _____.” Give yourself a chance instead of forming limiting beliefs.

 

8. Stay present. Try not to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Take everything one day at a time.

 

9. Your feelings will not kill you. I know that heartbreak, grief, depression, or resentment might make you feel like you’re dead and breathing, but you have the strength to get through whatever life throws at you. Hold on and see yourself through it.

 

10. You are human. This is probably the biggest reminder of them all. You will make mistakes. You will hurt other people and other people will hurt you. You won’t always feel happy and positive. Next time you feel the urge to beat yourself up over any of these things, remind yourself that you are an imperfect human being instead.

The idea that there is a goal…is wrong. We are the goal

7 Lessons From The Bhagavad Gita

By Cat O'Connor

"Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?" - John Keats, English Poet

"The idea that there is a goal…is wrong. We are the goal; we are always peace. To get rid of the idea that we are not peace is all that is required."  - Ramana Maharshi, Hindu sage

The Bhagavad Gita – the world’s oldest known text, speaks to this truth. Ultimately, let go and let God and ALL is God (or oneness, divinity, universal energy, whatever term you would like to use). We are all one. If you’ve yet to read this book, pick up a copy and get ready for a timeless piece of art and knowledge that will be dog eared and weathered before you know it…

This poem contains so much knowledge, inspiring deep awe and wonder. It’s difficult to wrap it up into bullet points, but here are seven of my takeaways:

1. This physical world is all delusion. Do not fret, fear or ruminate… Hold fast to the awareness that you are following a path, the exact path, which you are intended to be following.

2. Choose your path, based on your nature; whether it be Karma yoga (the path of action), jnana yoga (the path of knowledge or wisdom), raja yoga (the path of meditation) or Bhakti yoga (the path of devotion or love)… all path’s lead to divinity. All paths are divine. You are divine.

 

3. How you enter truth is irrelevant; whether you call your path Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist, Islam etc is not important, all paths lead to divinity. If your focus is on right action, action for the greater good, offering this action without attachment, you will arrive in the light. You are light. 

4. The importance lies in the letting go, just be. Be. Trust in the Self. 

 

5. Act out of love with no attachment to the outcome. 

 

6. Have Faith in the knowledge of oneness.  

 

7. Simply know that there is so much more, infinitely more, beyond what can be seen, felt, heard by your physical senses. 

Once you hold this truth in the palm of your hand, the depths of your belly, the crevices of your soul – all feelings of attachment to scriptures, books, or gurus will fall away, unnecessary to your enlightened being; you will suffer the pains of this world no more, and you will know what it is to be light and free in the light of being. 

My yoga practice helps me to connect to this oneness, each and every time I take to the mat.  In all of my humanness, as I go through my daily life, I strive also to be mindful off the mat; to see all others as myself, to see myself as all others. My intended focus on: Kindness. Gratitude. Detachment. Love. Yoga. Atma.

Namaste.

Acceptance

When are we going to learn and teach acceptance? This World is full of people who think they are GOD and they expect you to live their way, walk their way, dress their way, speak their way. God did not make a land of robots He made 1000 of species of flowers yet we think God wouldn't do that with us.  Tell that person who is always in your ear about someone else to mind their business. Do not entertain robots or clones and be a ROSE or a TULIP or TIGER LILY.
Live in who you are.
-Voni Blue

Body Consciousness Notes from the blog/desk of Dr Akilah El

Dr Akilah El – Celestial Healing Wellness Center

The Natural Health and Holistic World According to Dr Akilah El

Body Consciousness

Posted by docakilah on March 6, 2012

 

By Kanta Jacob Katz Ph.D

‘Body consciousness’ is one of the most important topics that can be understood on one’s road to healing.  Becoming aware of what kind of relationship you have created with your body is a fundamental key for change.  Learning to tune into your inner dialogue offers you space to change.
In this series of articles we will search out and discover the forgotten inner commands that keep the body, mind and spirit in a state of dis-ease.  Most of these commands, although quite active, have been tuned out.  They have been accepted into the daily consciousness and then they become what many like to call “reality.”
These commands are spoken in many different forms.  Some are spoken in the quiet of dawn.  Others are shouted at full volume during a mid-day freak-out session.  They are born of many different beliefs and old traumas that still live today – from punishment, from not deserving.  Too old, too late, too fat, too this, or to that, blah blah blah.  Excuses!
The objective here is to discover what commands you have become a slave unto.  How do you speak to yourself?  How many times a day do you verbally punish yourself?  How often do you steal joy from yourself or fight with yourself in the mirror?  The voice of doom is created because of unhealed issues and problems that need attention but have not received it yet; therefore, they still keep you in pain.
Here is a gentle way of becoming aware of your self-contact (notice the word contact, not struggle).  It took a lot of time and learning for you not to be aware.  Now, it will take practice to become aware of how you treat yourself.  To become awake requires work; it won’t just happen.  If you want to make this discovery, it will take effort and desire on your part.
Remember, you cannot solve a problem with the same energy you used to create it!
Exercise for quieting the old, cranky, unhappy, complaining voice of doom
In this exercise you will look at yourself in the mirror.
Day one
Look at yourself in the mirror as you do every day.  Take notice of what happens.  Where do your eyes go first?  What do you feel in regards to the body?  Is there a part of the body that you dislike?
What is the feeling towards that part of the body?  How long have you disliked it?
Go over your entire body if you can, becoming aware of what you feel and the areas you struggle with. Remember to keep an open mind and heart in this part of your discovery.  What you’re after is to gain clarity about your body and how you relate to it, not to empower the same old program of discontent.
Day two
Pick something about your body that you like.  Sometimes this is easier said than done, but there should definitely be something you like about your body.  It doesn’t matter what you like – hair, nails, skin, eyes, legs, feet – anything at all, but pick something you truly like about who you are.
After you have chosen it, go to the mirror and look only at that body part.  Resist your pattern to go to the problem and start complaining or getting angry.  Stay focused; only allow yourself to enjoy what you like about your body.  This can take a few seconds or minutes.  It is important here to connect with that part of your body you think is beautiful and positive.  Once you have made the connection, leave the mirror and don’t engage with anything negative about yourself.
Day three and four
Repeat the same process.  Find what you like and make the connection.  It can be what you had previously chosen or something different.  Remember: do not engage with the difficulty.
Day five
Go back to the mirror as you did in day one; let your eyes go everywhere.  What happened?
Now go back to what you consider the problem area or areas.  Breathe deeply while asking, “What is the problem?”  Allow yourself to feel the answer.  Be clear and open to hearing what you really have to say or feel about that body part.
Take your time.  Here, you can make the connection with how you’ve been treating yourself.  The body doesn’t lie; it will speak.  Honesty is very important.  What we are doing is giving your body the chance to express how it feels instead of beating it down.  Spend time here, take as long as you need.  Once you have begun to identify the cause, make a choice to no longer fight with it but rather to come to understand it.
Day six and seven
Now, if you are ready, ask to establish a new relationship with the part of your body that has been bothering you.  (If you are not ready, don’t force this part of the exercise; you may need some more days.  If so, continue to work with days one through five and try again.)
Ask to remember when that part of your body felt well.  It’s important here to allow yourself to have the experience.  Relax, don’t try to mentally manipulate the memory; rather, allow it to surface.  If you can’t find one, sit and relax, breathing deeply and equally for approximately five minutes.  Ask again.  If you cannot remember or just don’t feel anything, that’s fine; you can always come back and try again on a different day.
If you do connect, ask for help from your body in changing how you relate to it.  Use your hands to make contact with that part of the body; touch and hold that place with love.  Gently touch that point, as someone who loved and cared for you very much would touch you.
Then, allow yourself to smile as you pour your love back into your body.  Spend as much time as needed here.  Make a promise to nurture this part of your body daily, for just a few minutes a day, with love, through touch and positive reinforcement, for a thirty-day period.
Be realistic with your commitment.  See if you can support your choice for the thirty-day period.  If you get derailed, it’s not a problem – learn from it.  What happened?  Why did you change course?  Stay involved with your process so the next time you can surpass where you ended this time.  It may take two or three times to do this exercise; it does not matter.  What matters most is allowing yourself to learn where you struggle and to stop supporting that choice.
Note: This exercise doesn’t heal or cure what caused the difficulty in the first place.  It’s only the beginning of a deeper bond that helps you understand how you treat yourself and why.

About the Author
Kanta Jacob Katz Ph.D. has been assisting people for more than twenty-five years. He is a spiritual counselor and an advanced Tai Yi Practitioner. He is a Naturopathic doctor with a Masters degree in Natural Health. He is practicing and continues to study Tai Yi an ancient Chinese system of hands on energy work. He is also certified in personal training. Kanta is working with individuals and groups guiding ones in the area of “spiritual nutrition” and healing in an enjoyable and playful manner. He has practised in Los Angeles, California and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. He presently lives and practices in Athens, Greece.

Dalai Lama Surprised

Dalai Lama was asked what about humanity surprises him the most, his answer:

  “Man…. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

I really love this it helps me to remember how balance is key in all things. We have to feed the mind body and spirit.   Time should be balanced between existing and living.  We do things we have to do then we must also do things our spirit asks us to do.  In life some people have the gift of the 2 being intertwined which all of our ultimate goal which is to work in purpose.


- Voni Blue

Take that stank off

The past will haunt you if you let it. You can bring it into the future by letting it walk with you is like wearing the same dirty clothes everyday. You have a washer it is called today. Move forward even when it seems like people want to keep you in that same suit, you've changed. The moment you decided to walk in your vision a new birth began. No they can't see it but its your vision. Believe in it and walk in it. I promise you continue in living in who you are you will find yourself with a whole new wardrobe.
Much love
Voni Blue

Reach beyond

RISE ABOVE

Peace means....

Womanifesto by Jill Scott

 

Womanifesto by Jill Scott 

 

Clearly I am not a fat ass
I am active brain
and lip smacking peach deep
sometimes too aggressive in its honesty
and heart sweet
that loves whole-ly and completely
whom it may choose
whom ever it may choose

I am not gonna lie and pacify
I am arms to hold
I am lips to speak
I am a muthafucking “G”

Strong legs that stroll off the 33 bus
or out of a money green Phantom conformably
Knees that bend to pray
clean from Ajax washings
hair that is thick and soft
Thighs that be-twixt
an amazing all expense grand prize

I am eyes that sing
smile that brightens
touch that rings
and supplies euphoric release
I am a Grand Dame Queen Beast

I am warm 
I am peace
From the roads of Botswana to 23rd Street
From the inside third eye
ever watching this wicked wicked system of things
I do see

I am friend to pen 
and a lover of strong women
A Diamond to men
I am curious and interested like children 
I welcome the wise to teach 
appreciator of my culture
Thick not just from bone dense and eat

I have a rhythm in my ways 
and a practice in my seek
and yes I do crave the rhythm of my space
with a man that rejoices in God’s Grace

with faith I do hear to listen
two hands that fist 
when forced pushes to shove
and your ego won’t submit

I am gifted 
I am all of this 
and indeed the Shit

Clearly I am not just an ass

'Do It Anyway' a poem written by Mother Teresa

 

                                           

   "Do It Anyway"

            People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

            If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

            If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

           If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

            What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

            If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

            The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

         Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

         In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

This poem will be hanging on my office wall soon as I can get it! Love it and had to share.- Voni Blue 

Chanakya's Quotes - Worth Learning

Also known as Kautilya and Vishnugupta, Chanakya was the author of the ancient Indian work on polity, Arthashastra. Though most of the details of his life are lost to time, it's commonly held that Chanakya was born in the Taxila region. When Alexander's armies retreated from Punjab in 325 B.C., it is believed that Chanakya served as the mastermind of the revolution that put Chandragupta in power. Arthashastra was once thought lost but was rediscovered in the 1920s. It serves as an instruction manual on how to run a country and meet its many challenges.

 1) “Learn from the mistakes of others… you can’t live long enough to make them all yourselves!!”
2)”A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first.”
3)”Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous.”
4)”Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.
5)” Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions – Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.”
6)”As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it.”
7)”The world’s biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman.”
8)”Once you start a working on something, don’t be afraid of failure and don’t abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.”
9)”The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction.”
10)”God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple.”
11) “A man is great by deeds, not by birth.”
12) “Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness.”
13) “The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. If you cannot keep secret with you , do not expect that other will keep it. It will destroy you.”
14) Do not reveal what you have thought upon doing, but by wise council keep it secret being determined to carry it into execution.
15) “Education is the Best Friend. An Educated Person is Respected Everywhere. Education beats the Beauty and the Youth
16)Do not put your trust in a bad companion nor even trust an ordinary friend, for if he should get angry with you, he may bring all your secrets to light.
 

Words that we manifest

Posted by Donald Latumahina 8 Comments

Note: This is a guest post from Michael Martel of Achieve the Green Beret Way
A manifesto, by definition is a public declaration of a person’s principles and intentions. Throughout history a lot of manifestos have been political in nature. Marx and Engel’s Communist Manifesto sticks in many people’s mind as an example of a manifesto. Other famous ones have been on the subjects of art or technology. However, it doesn’t have to be on a certain topic. A manifesto lays out what is important to someone and publically draws a line in the sand as to what they believe in and what they will do and not do.
Manifestos have gotten bad press lately. Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber had his own manifesto. Manifesto can be for good or evil. The Declaration of Independence is essentially a manifesto. Architect Frank Lloyd Wright had one. So does present day marketer Seth Godin. Organizations have manifestos; Apple has one.

Personal Manifestos

It is a great thing for people to have their own manifestos. Much of the modern world is lived in shades of gray. There isn’t a right or a wrong in modern society. Family norms have been established by reality TV. Ethical standards are eroded by the activities of political leaders. People can have standards for themselves. These standards create the foundation stones of our lives. A manifesto establishes this foundation and declares it to everyone, “This is who I am and what I stand for.”

You Don’t Have to Get It Perfect, Just Get Started

You might feel a little daunted at the task of writing a manifesto. You needn’t worry. All you need is something you feel strongly about. It doesn’t really matter what the topic is. It can be whatever you want to make a statement on – politics, your work, the environment, or a social issue or cause. It could even be about sports. The important thing is to be bold. Manifestos throw your intentions into the arena for others either to agree to or not. You don’t want to just make a list of things you like or don’t like. Make a declaration as to why this is something you would go to battle for.
The mechanics of writing a manifesto are simple. First, decide what you want your manifesto to be about. Your first manifesto doesn’t have to be War and Peace. Keep it short and sweet by focusing on one topic. Is it healthy living? Is it football officiating? Is it what kind of job you will take or not take? Make a list of a couple topics. Let them sit for a couple days while you let it brew around in your mind and then settle on one.
Next step for writing your first manifesto is to lay it out on paper. Pull up your favorite word processing software and get it going. Remember you don’t have to get it perfect. You just need to get it started. For your manifesto, I suggest a format of introduction, background, discussion, declaration. The before mentioned Declaration of Independence has the same format.
Your manifesto’s introduction should establish what your target is and why you are taking aim at it. You might talk in generalities why this is important to you and why it needs to be addressed. Don’t spend too much time on the introduction, the real meat comes next.
The background of your manifesto is the hook for your reader. People want to know why this is important to you. Personal stories are what draw the reader. They want to know what motivates you, thereby bringing them into the rationale. Also this is for yourself to explore why this gets your blood boiling and why you feel the attraction to it. The background isn’t just for the future readers. Even if you don’t intend to ever show this to another living soul, be honest in the background of your manifesto. If there was some element of abuse, emotionally or physically, try to write about it. This is a good place to talk about perceived slights, snubs. Every time you reread it, the background will bring you back to why this is a passion for you.

Manifestos Are Gritty

The discussion is where you make your case. Manifestos are gritty. This is not the place to dance around and try not to antagonize anyone. Simply say why you believe what you believe. Some will agree and some won’t. You will upset some people if your manifesto is bold. Don’t use a pro and con approach. Take that attitude that what you believe is the only approach and work from there. Go ahead and attack counter opinions and say why they don’t make sense. Most of all, state why this is important to you and it is important enough to make it a manifesto.
Finally, make a declaration in your manifesto. What will you do as a result of the manifesto? What will you not do as a result of it? Are you going to stop watching television? Are you going to seek out another line of work? Make a declaration that reflects what you stand for.

You Finished It, Now What?

Once you have your first manifesto finished, take a deep breath of satisfaction. You have placed yourself above the mob. You are one of the few who actually know what they stand for in life. You are not letting the winds of public opinion blow you around like a rudderless sailboat on the waves. Men are meant to be the captains of their own ships.
Take this further if you dare. Share your manifesto with family and friends. Encourage your friends to write one of their own. Write a couple more on other single topics. After a while when you have a few manifestos under your belt, write your life manifesto. Establish your values and how you will live according to them. This is the stuff legacies are made from. You deserve this.
For 20 years, Michael Martel was a Green Beret in the US Army. He now works with people to put Special Forces like effectiveness into their lives and businesses. Go to Achieve The Green Beret Way and learn about his book Get ER Done: The Green Beret Guide to Productivity.

Want to read more from this site click here.

Michael Jordan "Failure" Nike Commercial

Bucket List

I have often considered creating a bucket list but wasn't sure where to start. The great minds over at Personal Excellence put together this list. Visit them their site is full of positivity and motivation. If you'd like to share some of the things you have come up with please do I would love to hear them.

What’s on Your Bucket List? 101 Things To Do Before You Die

by Celes | ShareThis  Email This Post

“Every man dies – Not every man really lives.” ~ William Ross
“The only people who fear death are those with regrets.” ~ Author Unknown

A few days ago, I was surfing online when I came across someone’s bucket list. It quickly inspired me to create my own bucket list as well and write an article at the same time.

What’s a Bucket List?

If you haven’t heard about the bucket list, it is a list of all the goals you want to achieve, dreams you want to fulfill and life-experiences you desire to experience before you die.

Why Create a Bucket List?

Why have a bucket list? If you don’t live your days by personal goals and plans, chances are you spend most of your time caught up in a flurry of day-to-day activities. Ever feel your days are passing by without any tangible output to speak of? What were your accomplishments in the past 3 months? What are your upcoming goals for the next 3 months? Look at the things you did and the things you’re planning to do next – Do they mean anything to you if you are to die today? Having a bucket list reminds you of what’s really important so you can act on them.
Even if you frequently live by goals or to-do lists, they are probably framed within a certain social context e.g., performance, career, health. A bucket list opens up the context. It’s a forum to set anything and everything you’ve ever wanted to do, whether it’s big, small or random.
It’s just like planning ahead all the highlights you want for YOUR whole life. Even though goal setting is already my staple activity, I still found many new things to do while I was writing on my bucket list. It was an incredibly insightful exercise. What’s more, coming up with the list it gave me a whole new layer of enthusiasm knowing what’s in store ahead!
The objective of creating a bucket list isn’t to instill some kind of a race against time or to create aversion towards death. I don’t see our existence to be limited to just our physical years on earth – I don’t see our existence to be limited to just our physical years on earth – our physical lifespan is but a short speck of our existence in the universe. The whole point of a bucket list is to maximize every moment of our existence and live our life to the fullest. It’s a reminder of all the things we want to achieve in our time here, so that instead of pandering our time in pointless activities, we are directing it fully toward what matters to us.

Create Your Bucket List

If you don’t have a bucket list, I highly recommend you to create one. How much does it cost? Probably 30 minutes to an hour, or more if you get really caught up in the writing :). What do you gain? Significant clarity and focus on what you want from your life. It’s an invaluable exchange.
If you have already written your bucket list before, take this opportunity to review it. See if there are new items you want to add-on. If so, add them in. Check if all the items listed are still relevant. If not, remove them.
If you are curious, you can check out my bucket list before you start off

Now, take out your pen and paper or open up a text editing document. You can check out the following sites where people publicly share their bucket lists: 43 Things and Barefoot List.
Start writing down what comes to mind as you read these questions:

• What if you were to die tomorrow? What would you wish you could do before you die?
• What have you always wanted to do but have not done yet?
• What will you do if you have unlimited time, money and resources?
• Any countries, places or locations you want to visit?
• What are your biggest goals and dreams?
• What do you want to see in person?
• What achievements do you want to have?
• What experiences do you want to have / feel?
• Are there any special moments you want to witness?
• What activities or skills do you want to learn or try out?
• What are the most important things you can ever do?
• What would you like to say/do together with other people? People you love? Family? Friends?
• Are there any specific people you want to meet in person?
• What do you want to achieve in the different areas: Social, Love, Family, Career, Finance, Health (Your weight, Fitness level), Spiritual?
• What do you need to do to lead a life of the greatest meaning?

Come up with as many items as you can. The items should be things you have not done yet. Don’t stop until you finish listing at least 101 things! If you find yourself stuck, chances are you are mentally limiting/constraining yourself. Release those shackles – This is a list of everything you want to achieve, do, see, feel and experience in your life. Check out the next section for added inspiration.

101 Things to Consider for Your Bucket List

Here are 101 bucket list items to consider for your bucket list . Some of the items might spark off your inspiration for other things too!

1. Travel all around the world
   • All the countries in the world
   • Visit all the Wonders of the World
   • 1001 places to see before you die
2. Learn a new language
3. Try out a new profession in a different field
4. Achieve your ideal weight
5. Run a marathon
   
6. Take part in a triathlon
7. Take up a new sport. Some examples:
   • Technique sports: Archery, Golf, Bowling, Billiard, Skateboarding, Skating, Roller-blading, Ice skating
   • Water sports: Water rafting, Kayaking, Wakeboarding, Sailing, Scuba diving, Snorkeling, Swimming
   
   • Group sports: Soccer, Rugby, Baseball, Basketball, Ultimate frisbee
   • Racket sports: Squash, Badminton, Tennis, Table tennis
8. Go skiing
9. Learn horseback riding
10. Resign from a job you don’t like
11. Pursue your passion
12. Start your own business doing something you love
13. Achieve financial abundance with your passion
14. Connect with the teachers from your past – college, high school, junior high, all of it. Let them know how they have shaped your life.
15. Identify someone who has inspired you the most in your life. Let him/her know how much he/she has inspired you
16. Be a mentor to someone
17. Learn a strategy game
18. Do an extreme sport – Bungee jumping, Skydiving, Parachuting, Paragliding, Ice climbing
19. Climb a mountain
20. Give a heartfelt surprise to someone
21. Make a difference in someone’s life
22. Perform a kind deed to at least 5 strangers without expecting anything in return
23. Write a book on something that means a lot to you
24. Fly in a hot-air balloon across a country
25. Sing your favorite song to an audience
26. Offer your service to a humanitarian cause
27. Make friends with at least 5 strangers on the street
28. Experience a sunset
29. Experience a sunrise
    
30. See the Northern Lights
31. Witness a solar eclipse
32. Go stargazing
33. Plant your own tree and watch it grow
34. Own a pet (or more if you desire!): dog, cat, rabbit, hamster, tortoise, fish, snake, frog, etc
35. Do public speaking in front of 10,000 people
36. Write a letter to at least 3 of your closest friends to let them know how much they mean to you
37. Throw a mega party
38. Get a complete makeover (change everything, from your hair style, hair color, image, clothes) and get a different look:  one which you would never have thought of trying!
39. Learn wine appreciation
40. Join a social etiquette class and further refine your mannerisms
41. Be a matchmaker: Introduce your single friends to each other (the rest is up to them!)
42. Go on a blind date! (for the singles!)
43. Go for future education in a different specialization
44. Play a (new) musical instrument: Piano, Violin, Harmonica, Flute, Guitar, Drum, Trumpet
45. Win a lucky draw
46. Take up dancing: Salsa, Line dance, Tap dance, Tango, Ballroom dancing, etc
    
47. Learn a martial art (Check out: List of different martial arts on Wiki)
48. Go on a road trip
49. Go backpacking across at least 10 locations
50. Pack your bags and set off for a random location with no itinerary planned at all
51. Go swimming with dolphins
52. Live in a different country for at least 6 months
53. Act in a film (self production or otherwise)
54. Get featured on TV/radio/print/newspapers for an achievement you are proud of
55. Knit a scarf
56. Create your dream home (Read: Does Your Room Inspire You?)
57. Whip up the best meal ever for your loved ones
58. Bake a cake for someone special
59. Go deep into the heart of Mother Nature. Go trekking in a rainforest; Camp out in the wilds; Walk in a valley; Visit a waterfall; Swim in an ocean; Walk in a valley
    
60. See snow (if you haven’t before)
61. Live through 4 seasons of the year – Spring, summer, autumn, winter
62. Read a book on a subject you’d never have thought of reading
63. Volunteer at a hospice
64. Fly a kite
    
65. Fall asleep on grassy plains
66. Call the customer service (of a service provider you like) just to thank them for the great service
67. If you are a non-vegetarian, try out vegetarianism for 21 days and experience it for yourself
68. After that, try veganism
69. Followed by raw veganism. Then conclude which is the best diet for you.
70. Fold a 1,000 origami cranes and give them to someone special
71. Conquer your biggest fear
72. Go snorkeling and experience marine life up close
73. Tell at least 10 people about your bucket list and encourage them to do the same
74. Go on a meditation retreat
75. Experience an OBE (out of body experience)
76. Start a social movement on a cause you believe in
77. Watch cherry blossoms in Japan
78. Get closure on all your hurt, grievances and unhappiness of the past
79. Bury the hatchet with all the enemies / people you had conflict with in the past or now
80. Organize a picnic outing
81. Do something completely crazy and out of character
82. Fly first class
83. Hit bullseye on a dartboard
84. Visit a volcano
85. Fly in a helicopter
86. Have dinner with someone you had only dreamed of meeting
87. Tell your parents (and siblings too if you have them) that you love them.
88. Ride a roller coaster
89. Go on a cruise in the sea
90. Try out front-line customer service jobs such being a waiter/waitress for a month just for the experience
91. Fall in love
    
92. Be in love!
93. Get on a romantic getaway
94. Do a somersault
95. Visit a castle in England
    
96. Change the world
97. Help someone in need
98. Learn sign language
99. See the Mona Lisa in Louvre (Paris)
100. Go to a costume party and dress up as your fantasy character
101. Gain enlightenment

Here are some sites you might want to check out for inspiration as you create your bucket list:

• 43 Things
• My Bucket List
• Barefoot List
• BBC 50 Things To Do Before You Die
• Creating a Bucket List
• My Someday

Get Into Action!

After you finish your bucket list, here’s what to do next:

• Start acting on them! Plan out the successful path towards these goals – For this, read my 7-part Successful Goal Achievement series.
• Be reminded of the list all the time. Use environmental reinforcement – put them up in a prominent spot where you will see them every day / very regularly. Put it in your life handbook, set it as your wallpaper, pin it on your noticeboard, print it out, stick it on your wardrobe/locker.
• Share them with your family and friends. Inspire them to create their own bucket list too! This way, you also create accountability to your own bucket list.
• Don’t limit your bucket list items to a certain definition. Sometimes opportunity present itself in a totally different manner. Keep your eyes peeled! The universe will start throwing things your way.
• Review regularly. Cross out the list of things after you do them. See if some of the items have become irrelevant and if there are new things you want to add. Just as you finish the items, you’ll add new ones as they come along. There is absolutely no reason why our bucket list should ever be empty. There is such an incredible wealth of things, events, activities, experiences to witness/go through in life that it’s impossible that we will ever be done with living. Likewise for me, I’m continuously completing and adding on new items that will help me live my life to the fullest, so my bucket list always has new items to accomplish.